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How to Nurture Children Through a Divorce


You’ve heard it said time and time again—children are resilient creatures. They can adapt to change when necessary, especially when they’re provided the tools to do so. After all, so much of childhood is change, from new teachers and classmates to new routines and activities. While divorce can feel like a monumental shift, it is entirely possible to nurture children through a divorce and help them adapt to their new situation.

Provide the Basics

The basics for any happy child include food, a safe shelter, and social support. Children whose parents are separating may question what their new lives will look like. While food and shelter are probably taken care of, it’s important to also ensure that children have support from both their parents and others outside of the nuclear family. What this looks like will vary depending on the family. Some children may thrive with a children’s therapist. Others may need more time with grandparents, friends, or siblings so they can discuss their feelings and process them. It is important that children understand that while their parents are separating, they will still have both of them in their life and that they are loved.

Be Supportive

When dealing with a divorce, it can be difficult to put aside one’s personal pain and hurt and focus on someone else’s needs. However, as a parent, that is exactly what the situation calls for. While parents should seek help in dealing with and processing any issues they are experiencing because of a divorce, they need to be able to provide love and support to their children at the same time.

Both parents should be committed to ensuring that the children’s lives continue with minimal disruptions. Important activities such as practices and rehearsals should be planned for so that the child understands that they are important and that their desires matter, even when their parents are separating.

Be prepared for difficult conversations regarding establishing two different homes and other changes that will affect your child. Ensure you have the support you need in order to be the best parent that you can.

During the collaborative divorce process, co-parenting is discussed and information is provided by a child specialist to help parents understand their new relationship and help them plan accordingly for their future. Tools and methods for co-parenting are shared, providing an invaluable opportunity for ensuring that the children’s needs are being considered and met throughout the divorce and beyond.

Nurture Children Through a Divorce with the Collaborative Divorce Process

Children can thrive with stability and support, and it’s possible to provide these things throughout a divorce and after a divorce. To give them these things, however, you must make a commitment throughout the divorce process to focus on their well-being. Ideally, your soon-to-be ex is also committed to providing your children with the best possible environment under the circumstances.

Divorce isn’t easy, but it is possible to nurture your children and promote their well-being throughout the process. Collaborative divorce offers separating families a way to make a healthier transition into a two-home family. By working together to create agreements that consider everyone’s best interests and by giving children a voice at the table (the child specialist), parents can help create better relationships and plans for their futures.

For a collaborative divorce to be feasible, both parties must be willing to work together and be open about their relationship, their finances, and their plans for the future. To learn more about collaborative divorce and whether it’s appropriate for your situation, schedule a free consultation with Quinn Law Firm today.

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